Friday Rant: Registries

I’m thinking of doing a Friday Rant series. Seeing as I pretty much detest everything related to the Wedding Industrial Complex, I’ve got lots of ammunition. So in honor of today’s post on “I Just Want It To Be Perfect,” I will be ranting about wedding registries.

First, I think wedding registries are outdated. Sure it made sense to register for housewares 60 years ago when people were moving straight from the family home/university dorms/bachelor pad into cohabitation and a shiny new unfurnished house. But please tell me, when was the last time you went to a wedding for people who had never lived on their own. Regardless of whether you have been “living in sin” or not, chances are the parties being wed already have homes with blenders and wine glasses and towels and bedsheets. Why on earth would you need MORE of these things?

So I definitely prefer the idea of a honeymoon fund instead of gifts. Rather than cluttering up the newlywed’s most likely small apartment, why not contribute a lasting memory they might otherwise been unable to afford? Or contributing to saving for a down payment on a house? That’s something practical! I hate giving/receiving gifts where you’re all like, “Oh wow… uh… thanks!” and pretend excited because then everyone just feels crappy. Or writing fake enthusiastic thank you cards. Cash is never a bad gift. Ever. It doesn’t show thoughtlessness, it shows you actually care about what the recipient would want. And you’re not cluttering up their life with unneeded “gifts” they feel like they can’t get rid of without offending you.

As for those detractors of things like Honeyfund or cash gifts (see the God-awful The Knot Etiquette boards), y’all can just f*ck off. If you’re hell-bent on giving a gift out of propriety rather than from a place of caring and unconditional love for your friend/family member/tribal deity/whatever then just DON’T BOTHER. I would rather have nothing than a resentful “I did it because I had to” gift.

Besides, Emily Post doesn’t give a sh*t.


5 thoughts on “Friday Rant: Registries

  1. Yes! You go, girl. If I could go back in time, one thing I would definitely change about my wedding was exactly this. The gifts we were given were practical and most of them did get some use, but we could have really used the cash for a car that wasn’t on death’s doorstep. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for what you actually want. It’s not worth the regrets you’ll have to deal with later. 🙂

  2. Ugh, I hate buying stuff for couples’ registries, too! If you wait too long, all the inexpensive items are taken and you end up purchasing something you would NEVER choose for them yourself. It’s so impersonal. Plus, it seems like a lot of couples just fill up their registry with a ton of shit you *know* they don’t need. Like multiple dishes sets and 45 bathroom towels.

    My fiance and I just got engaged a month ago(!) and we were all excited when we realized we could ask for a new blender on our gift registry (ours is almost dead). But then we thought again, and couldn’t think of another single item we would add to a registry. The blender is the only thing we need 🙂

    Pretty sure we’ll end up doing a honeymoon fund… although I like your idea of a house fund, too! I hadn’t thought of that before.

  3. Did you know that, statistically speaking, couples that live together before marriage actually are more likely to get divorced? Wow, I just love facts, don’t you?

    • And if you look deeper into the research, that statistic only applies to couple who decide to get married AFTER living together. There is no increase in divorce rate for couples who intend on marrying prior to moving in. The increase in divorce rate is thought to be related to the “trial period” mentality of living with a significant other. Fun fact, statistics can easily be manipulated for convenience.

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