Friday Rant: Say No to the Dress

Okay this one has always bugged the shit out of me. Wedding dresses: the single use, completely impractical, totally way too expensive, and for some reason absolutely indispensable part of a wedding. The average cost of a wedding dress is $1,100 dollars.  Let’s break it down logically and see why that doesn’t even make sense:

  1. You will never never ever wear this dress again. Seriously. It’s beautiful no doubt, but when will you ever again be in a situation where you can wear something like this: 
  2. They’re not comfortable. Most of them wear like a corset and how the heck are you supposed to navigate a mile-long train? And seriously, do you know what corsets do to your body?

    This. It does this.

  3. You want to spend $700 preserving the dress for your hypothetical future daughter? One, wedding dresses are HUGE. That is going to be dragged from place to place every time you move, then sit in a closet somewhere collecting dust for like 30 years. On top of that, this is what our mothers wore when they got married:  How do you think your daughter is going to feel about your dress?
  4. It’s one day. I don’t even spend more than $30 on a pair of jeans I wear for years. Why on earth would I spend thousands on a dress I will wear for less than a day?

And about that teary aha moment you have when you find The One. That’s called marketing. The One? Really? Do you really want to lump your wonderful partner-who-you-love-more-than-anything-into-the-world-and-want-to-spend-everyday-of-the-rest-of-your-life with in the same category as a single use inanimate impractical item of clothing? Just sayin’.

As for me, this is my dress:

At least I can wear it to the symphony or something.

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10 thoughts on “Friday Rant: Say No to the Dress

  1. Lovely dress, nice and simple. My wedding dress made me itch all night. Oh yea, he was NOT the one! When I got married again, I wore a pair of black slacks and blouse that was it and I still own them. And guess what?? he was the one!

    P.S. I think you might be following my first blog, come to the minimalist one.

  2. I love this! That is such a cute, beautiful dress. I love the idea of a practical, comfortable and stunning wedding dress that can be worn to special occasions after the wedding.

  3. You know, this is EXACTLY what I’ve always said about weddings – and what I used to say about prom, in high school. I did my wedding for just under $6k in 1998, and my dress was nearly $600, and I felt such crushing guilt about that – my parents paid for most of that gown, and when I tried it on, I felt so beautiful, but I also felt like I couldn’t breathe because I felt like the cost was ridiculous. With the veil and alterations, I think it came in just shy of $800.

    And I never wore it again.

    I have been in shows where the costumer has taken old wedding dresses and repurposed them for costumes, but they either have to be definitively period (that wedding dress in the picture above could be used for “Ragtime”), or with very simple lines so that it can blend in effectively with the other costumes.

    Most wedding dresses that I see today… would not work in either instance.

    I re-purposed my Grandma’s wedding dress for a pageant. I played piano in it, but I lived in panic that at any moment, my shoulders would burst, Hulk-like, through the back shoulder seams. My grandma was a tiny bride.

    I think my wedding dress would – but the truth is, I would have to study photographs to remember what it looked like. It’s been professionally cleaned and in a box since 1998.

    I’m not married anymore, but I’ve told my boyfriend that if that fated day ever comes around for us, we’re going to do it right and go to Vegas, where either Elvis or Jimi Hendrix (I generously told him he could pick), would be making the proclamation from the pulpit. Either way, it’s going to be a guy dressed in velvet and rhinestones, carrying a guitar.

    • I’ve always been very frugal with money. I’m hard pressed to part with it for objects, much preferring to spend it on experiences. I’ve never been able to understand why people pay $600 for a purse when you can get a perfectly good one at Target for $20 and I think the same logic should go towards wedding expenses. Take the “wedding” part out of it and think about if you would be spending the money on it if it weren’t for a wedding. If the answer is no then maybe rethink that expense.

      And I vote Jimi Hendrix 🙂

  4. Too true, I paid £1k for my dress, and sold it on e-bay for £40 a few months later, would rather have spent it on a luxury holiday, but oh no I had a soggy, wet weekend in Dublin instead (I’m not bitter at all!)

  5. Pingback: Friday Rant: Budget Savers | Minimalist Bride

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