Friday Rant: Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties

Disclaimer: This entry uses strong language. Proceed at your discretion. I promise it’s worth it 😉

Okay, let me start off by saying that apparently bachelorette is apparently not a real word. Spell check flagged me for bachelorette, but not bachelor or, funny enough, spinster. So apparently spell check is sexist. Fuck you spell check, Merriam-Webster says bachelorette is totally a word.

Anyways, last summer I had the pleasure of going to Las Vegas for the first time in my life. It’s not an experience I’d care to repeat as I’m neither a fan of clubs nor gambling. When we were there, I observed that approximately 87% of the people we encountered there were groups of a dozen men or women celebrating an individual’s bachelor/bachelorette party. There is a weird pressure around these gatherings. It’s like a combination of a weekend pass to free infidelity immediately before your nuptials (which is fucking weird) and an attempt to out-party everyone else like you’re never going to have fun again.

Not to mention how obnoxious they are. Waiting to check into our hotel, we encountered a large group of woo girls parading through the lobby and shouting “wooooooooo!” every 12 seconds. It was quite literally the most ANNOYING thing I have ever experienced in my life. Not to mention the brides all acting like they’re some sort of diva, wearing an expensive white clubbing dress and a sash and a crown and thinking they’re hot shit. Look around sweetie, you’re one of 1500 brides here in Vegas this weekend. Getting married doesn’t make you special, lots of people do it. Being together after 50 years, now that’s fucking special. Come back then and throw a party celebrating your awesomeness. And on top of the affianced expects their attending friends to cough up a bunch of cash for a trip they may or may not want to go on. Because if they don’t then clearly they aren’t a good friend.

I think the bachelor(ette) party culture is really damaging to the institution of marriage in two ways. One, there is this idea that it’s totally okay to cheat on your soon-to-be spouse because “it was the bachelor party maaaaan, no big deal.” It is a big deal. Infidelity is NEVER acceptable. Besides, what a horrible way to start your marriage? Oh hey honey, I might have slept with a stripper in Vegas the week before we got married. No. Get that shit out of here. Second, the bachelor(ette) party is structured like it’s the last opportunity for the bride or groom to have fun before they’re chained down to the shackles of marriage. Way to take something beautiful and wonderful and turn it into something to be avoided and dreaded.

Meanwhile, I’m gonna go drink wine at California Adventure and ride the Pirates of the Caribbean over and over and over again. Hell yeah.


7 thoughts on “Friday Rant: Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties

  1. I just came upon your blog via Project 333 and as a lady who is getting married soon and not sold on all of the stuff and the things “required” for a wedding (a shower, a bachelorette, another shower – no judgments on others, just not for me), I find your opinions and blog to be quite refreshing and welcome. Thank you!

    • A wedding is absolutely what you make of it. You’re only doing it “wrong” if something in it doesn’t align with your beliefs or feelings. If you look at the wedding in different cultures there is a HUGE range of traditions and no two are exactly the same. Why should we be forced to believe that there is one right way to do it? Good luck on your wedding! I’d love to hear how it turns out 🙂

  2. I have the same exact view! If you are going to want strippers at your party, then obviously, you aren’t dedicated to this relationship. Love should be something shared with just you and your spouse, or soon-to-be, in the sense that when you meet that special person, everyone else will fade in your mind and they will appear as superman or superwoman to you. If you feel like you are going to be shackled when you are married, maybe you should reconsider your choice before going through with it, otherwise your marriage is going to be a big struggle of unhappiness. Okay, rant over. (: I’ve been enjoying scoping out your blog! (:

  3. Yeah man! Both my fiance and I are committed to each other NOW. And we’ve been dating and committed solely to each other for 7 years. THAT’S why we’re getting married (imagine that)! So why would you want to cheat/rub up on other people for a night before your wedding? It boggles my mind!

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