Wedding planning is easy. As of now our wedding is now 53 days away and I’ve hardly given it a thought. People keep asking me how stressed I am, or why I am so calm. Sometimes I ask myself the same thing. Why am I so calm? Weddingwire says I have 50 more items on my checklist to do. Why does that not stress me out? Because all of the important stuff is booked (venue, food, and officiant). Because I let go of the details. Because the wedding has never been anything more than a happy thing for me. I get to marry my best friend, my friends (some of whom I haven’t seen in years) are flying in from all over the country, and I have felt so loved through this whole process. Not to mention that I’m so concerned about how I am going to teach nuclear chemistry to 96 tenth graders next week I can’t even think about flower arrangements.
Our wedding has been a community effort, not something that I am planning on my own. I couldn’t micromanage if I wanted to due to the time commitments known as being-a-first-year-teacher. I’ve become a master of letting go of the details and delegating things to a supportive group of friends and family. I trusted a graphic designer friend to make the invitations. I left my future mother-in-law in charge of accommodations. My aunts had my dress made in Thailand. My future sister-in-law’s best friend is making cupcakes. My artist friend is making a guest book and signage. Everything is booked. We could have the wedding tomorrow and it would be fine.
I can see why wedding planning could be stressful. If I were invested in every single detail and wanted everything to be exactly perfect, like a vision on a Pinterest board, then I would probably be a basket case right now. But rather than burdening myself with unnecessary stress I relinquished control. I’ve let my wedding become a patchwork of contributions of different people that I love and trust. And I’m actually happier it worked out that way. It feels so much more meaningful because it’s a community thing, not just a “me” thing.