Friday Rant: Say No to the Dress

Okay this one has always bugged the shit out of me. Wedding dresses: the single use, completely impractical, totally way too expensive, and for some reason absolutely indispensable part of a wedding. The average cost of a wedding dress is $1,100 dollars.  Let’s break it down logically and see why that doesn’t even make sense:

  1. You will never never ever wear this dress again. Seriously. It’s beautiful no doubt, but when will you ever again be in a situation where you can wear something like this: 
  2. They’re not comfortable. Most of them wear like a corset and how the heck are you supposed to navigate a mile-long train? And seriously, do you know what corsets do to your body?

    This. It does this.

  3. You want to spend $700 preserving the dress for your hypothetical future daughter? One, wedding dresses are HUGE. That is going to be dragged from place to place every time you move, then sit in a closet somewhere collecting dust for like 30 years. On top of that, this is what our mothers wore when they got married:  How do you think your daughter is going to feel about your dress?
  4. It’s one day. I don’t even spend more than $30 on a pair of jeans I wear for years. Why on earth would I spend thousands on a dress I will wear for less than a day?

And about that teary aha moment you have when you find The One. That’s called marketing. The One? Really? Do you really want to lump your wonderful partner-who-you-love-more-than-anything-into-the-world-and-want-to-spend-everyday-of-the-rest-of-your-life with in the same category as a single use inanimate impractical item of clothing? Just sayin’.

As for me, this is my dress:

At least I can wear it to the symphony or something.