Friday Rant: Wedding Diets

We have all heard it before. Your wedding is the biggest day of your life. Everything has to be perfect. Especially you, the bride. One of the first things on the majority of wedding planning checklists is “Start a wedding workout routine.” I take issues with this on a couple of levels. First, this suggests that you are trying to become someone else on your wedding day. I’m all for getting healthy and incorporating exercise into your life but I firmly believe that it’s something to be pursued for its innate benefits, not so you can look hot for one day. I ignore this list item because diet and exercise are part of my daily routine, something I make time for to stay healthy both physically and mentally. And as much as I am an advocate of healthy food and exercise, it’s not part of everyone’s personality and values. If INSANITY workouts aren’t your cup of tea or if you have a routine that works for you but are naturally curvier you shouldn’t try to change the way you are to look nice in pictures.

Second, obsession with one’s waistline can lead to some extremely unhealthy habits. Especially if you are trying to drop weight rapidly. Take this woman who used a feeding tube to lose 10 lbs. in 8 days. That’s horrifying. The majority of fad diets “guaranteed” to make you lose weight quickly don’t necessarily make you healthy. The only real way to improve health and aid in weight loss is healthy diet and consistent exercise. And it’s not a fast process. If you’re making lifestyle changes to lose weight in a healthy way, you can only expect to lose 0.5-1 lb. a week. So if you’re trying to drop 15 lbs. it would take about 4 months. In my own experience, I lost 15 lbs. in a whopping 8 months.

Getting in shape is a huge undertaking and it is not something to be treated as a side note in your wedding planning. If you want to lose weight and get healthy, more power to you. But it should be for you, not for some pretty pictures in a slinky dress.

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Friday Rant: Budget Savers

I know, it’s been a while since I got a good rant in. Work has been chaos these past few weeks, so I haven’t had enough time to think! But today we are going to talk about something that really pisses me off: the budget saver.

Allow me to explain. With the average American wedding costing approximately $28,000 lots of people are out there looking for ways to save some money, myself included. And the advice from every single google result is the same: cut the guest list.

I think that’s the worst advice ever. Yes, you should only have people there that you really want to share the day with you, but that number is not always going to be small. For instance, Tristan has a very large family. I know quite a few of them very well and adore them and I couldn’t imagine them not being there for this momentous occasion (especially since Tristan is the oldest grandchild and the first to get married, his family is already excited and we don’t even have a date). Well with just his family that’s like 75 people already.

This page here is a glaring example of how kind of messed up this is. If you didn’t read it, the gist of it is summed up as

  • Splurge on: dress, hair/makeup, photographer, food
  • Save on: Flowers, guest list, bar, wedding favors

The implication here is that your single use dress and the food you serve is more important than the company you keep. And we all know how I feel about wedding dresses. I don’t know about you, but I would rather celebrate with everyone I love and naked in the middle of nowhere than have to exclude people that I would have wanted there a so I could wear a fancy dress. As for food, you don’t have to spend an obscene amount so everyone can have a fine dining experience. Especially if there are kids. What foods does pretty much anyone like? Pizza? Hot wings? Tacos? None of those things cost a lot and I doubt anyone worthwhile would complain about a delicious taco bar.

Friday Rant: Say No to the Dress

Okay this one has always bugged the shit out of me. Wedding dresses: the single use, completely impractical, totally way too expensive, and for some reason absolutely indispensable part of a wedding. The average cost of a wedding dress is $1,100 dollars.  Let’s break it down logically and see why that doesn’t even make sense:

  1. You will never never ever wear this dress again. Seriously. It’s beautiful no doubt, but when will you ever again be in a situation where you can wear something like this: 
  2. They’re not comfortable. Most of them wear like a corset and how the heck are you supposed to navigate a mile-long train? And seriously, do you know what corsets do to your body?

    This. It does this.

  3. You want to spend $700 preserving the dress for your hypothetical future daughter? One, wedding dresses are HUGE. That is going to be dragged from place to place every time you move, then sit in a closet somewhere collecting dust for like 30 years. On top of that, this is what our mothers wore when they got married:  How do you think your daughter is going to feel about your dress?
  4. It’s one day. I don’t even spend more than $30 on a pair of jeans I wear for years. Why on earth would I spend thousands on a dress I will wear for less than a day?

And about that teary aha moment you have when you find The One. That’s called marketing. The One? Really? Do you really want to lump your wonderful partner-who-you-love-more-than-anything-into-the-world-and-want-to-spend-everyday-of-the-rest-of-your-life with in the same category as a single use inanimate impractical item of clothing? Just sayin’.

As for me, this is my dress:

At least I can wear it to the symphony or something.